Tears

I never cry when I should. When the circumstances warrant emotion, I usually find it hard to enter into what is happening.

That is not to say I don't cry. I actually tear up somewhat regularly - but not predictably. I continually get caught off guard emotionally. I will be going along, happily minding my own business when something in a movie, or a song, or a conversation, or even in nature, will hook me and before I know what is happening tears are streaming down my face. It happened a couple of weeks ago, in our worship service. At exactly the same place in two of our three our worship gatherings, I was overcome by emotion. Didn't see it coming either time and I stood there and heaved for a good three minutes. I am always grateful for that experience, of being reminded that my heart beats with an intelligence and awareness that my conscious mind is not in control of...

A couple weeks ago I was in an informal meeting when someone was sharing personally and in the midst of the exchange, they were overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. I could tell that this didn't happen often, nor was this person comfortable with the fact that it was happening in the context we were in. For me, however, it felt holy. I was reminded of a passage from Frederick Buechner that I first read when I was around 23 years old. It made a huge impression on me and I have carried it around ever since.

"You never know what may cause them. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you've never seen before. A pair of somebody's old shoes can do it...You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next."

Comments

[jer]

I cry way more than a tough guy should, which tells you where I stand.

Beautiful moments in nature, the right song, children, romantic nostalgia, and the final scene in Shawshank Redemption can all do it easily enough...

But guaranteed weeping from me comes in those PBS, 20/20, or Oprah specials where the viewer is walked through the process of operation for a blind or deaf person. When the wraps are peeled away from the face, or the tubes removed, and they see or hear for the first time in their lives, I lose it. Often it haunts and inspires for hours afterwards.

If I have someplace to be, I quickly change the channel, so I don't show up red eyed and overly sentimental.

[Robert Benson]

I come from a long line of folks who will cry at the drop of a hat — yours, mine, or someone else's. I also come from a long line of folks who introduced me to the Rev. Mr. Buechner a long time ago, and to that passage you quoted. Thanks for bringing it up to our attention once again.

Namaste —

R. Benson
thelongpew.com

[Clay Masters]

I would call myself "moderately emotional." Its funny because I think the men in my family may likely be more emotional than the women. This just blows all stereotypes out of the water. I love the F. Buechner quote and honestly, the beauty of his writing can move me to tears as easily as anything. I think it is beauty that gets me. Nearly anything beautiful can reach into me and pull out a response from deep within where tears are a very normal expression and are plentiful.

[michael Mace]

Thanks for sharing. Buechner has that about his work. It's an odd topic. Finding the balance between the emotional state and the intellectual state has always been a personal quest.

[Jenifer Johnson]

Beautifully written, Tim. I may steal that quote and put it on my blog.

[Matt F.]

So yeah, I cried at "Marley and Me" a couple weeks ago. What's up with that?

[Josh Morris]

I love this Tim... I can never find words to defend my helpless weeping. I cry during any show, Biggest Loser... You name it, I cry! Thank you for the quote. I miss Jacob's Well!

[Katie]

Great quote. I decided a couple of years ago that when I felt like crying, I would just cry, damnit, and not try to stop it or hide it. Choosing to let my emotions happen without judgement and trying to listen to God and myself during that time has been very freeing. And if someone asks what's wrong, I try to just be honest -- to say I don't want to talk about it, if I don't, or put it in words if that seems right. I've also found it helps to not wear mascara to church. (;

[sarah]

thank you for sharing this quote, tim.

[Eric Disney]

I have been crying on a regular basis since starting the Living Waters program in Jan.--at this point, mostly tears of remorse, regret and pain,but moving toward the sweet, non-salty tears of gratefulness of joy at what God is doing in my life--thanks for this gift-post,Tim